HOW do you communicate with someone you know you'll disagree with?

We live in a wildly divisive world. It seems like there’s no topic—big or small—that doesn’t somehow spiral into a political stance or a battle between right and wrong. Every event, issue, and personal choice is instantly met with rigid lines in the sand: yes or no, black or white, with little room for nuance, history, or individual perspective.

So how do we stay true to ourselves—authentically—without isolating from meaningful discussion or losing the ability to find common ground? How can we communicate and disagree with dignity, respect, and kindness?

Here are a few practices that help:

1. Ask questions with an open mind.

This means truly listening with the goal of understanding—not simply waiting for your turn to argue. Curiosity without defensiveness can lead to deeper connection and insight.

2. Remember the golden rule.

“Treat others how you want to be treated.” Ask yourself: would you want someone to talk down to you, dismiss your views, or belittle your perspective? Then be sure you’re not doing that to others. Speak to people with the same dignity and respect you expect.

3. Check your own biases.

Ever heard of confirmation bias? If not, look it up—it’s real. In a world overflowing with information, we often gravitate only toward what reinforces our current beliefs. That’s human nature, but it can also be limiting. It takes humility and maturity to stand by your values while remaining open to the idea that you might not know everything. Let your ego take a backseat, and genuinely consider all sides before jumping into a debate.

4. Be okay with being disagreed with.

Not everyone will see the world the way you do—even when the issue seems like a clear case of right vs. wrong. But disagreement doesn’t give us a pass to respond with cruelty or condescension. True kindness is consistent—it doesn’t depend on how others behave. If you’re only respectful to those who agree with you, are you really practicing respect? Don’t become the very thing you’re trying to fight. As the saying goes, you catch more flies with honey. Sometimes, your calmness, kindness, and grace under pressure are the very things that open someone else’s mind.

At the end of the day, it’s not about winning arguments—it’s about building bridges. Holding space for differing perspectives doesn’t weaken your stance; it strengthens your character. We can be firm in our values and open-hearted in conversation. So the next time you find yourself in a disagreement, pause. Ask a question. Listen with curiosity. And respond with kindness. That’s how we create change—one respectful conversation at a time.